
Daily Bulletin, 1 May 2026 — the situation is excellent
·604 words·3 mins
From Great Headquarters at Berlin, in the seventh year of the war.
The situation on every front is highly satisfactory. We report with gratification:
I. Pandemic Front # The plague that broke out in 2020 has been put down by the full striking power of the federal health apparatus. The excess mortality recorded in recent years at reliably new record highs is, according to authoritative sources, a statistical phenomenon. A figure in the suspected-case spreadsheet of the Paul-Ehrlich-Institut stood yesterday at 2,060 and today at 637 — clear evidence that the situation is clarifying in our favour. The reckoning was discontinued with proper restraint at exactly the moment it was due to begin. We are therefore winning.
